October Newsletter

Office Address
2295 S. Hiawassee Rd, Suite 309
Orlando, FL 32835
Phone: 407-278-1598


Dr. Darlene Treese
PO Box 547
Windermere, FL 34786
Cell/Text (480) 296-3358

Bottom Line Integrity

"If humanity does not opt for integrity we are through completely. It is absolutely touch and go.
Each one of us could make the difference." --Buckminster Fuller

Integrity has 3 definitions:

  • Firm adherence to a strict moral or ethical code;

  • The state of being unimpaired - soundness;

  • The quality or condition of being whole or undivided - complete.

No matter which definition we choose, a life of integrity seems to be the exception rather than the rule. If you have been deceived by someone you trusted, you know that lies can undermine credibility, disintegrate relationships and erode trust. So why do we tell lies and why do we believe them? Can we become more discerning about how much to trust without becoming overly suspicious?

The purpose of lying is to create the reality we want. We lie because we believe it is the best thing we can do on our own behalf. We may call them white lies, false statements, mental reservations, evasions, or exaggerations, but whatever we say that is not the truth is an untruth. We live in a world of deception. Some people are masters at telling us what we want to hear and what they want us to believe.

Lying is gaining acceptance as a philosophy of life. We exaggerate our circumstances to pump up our egos or to conceal shame, fear and disappointment. We lie to avoid getting caught. We lie to gain financially. Telephone scams defraud thousands of people. Figures are manipulated on tax returns and profit/loss statements. False claims are submitted to insurance companies. Companies make outrageous promises to promote their services, products or stock.

Why do we believe lies? In a world of deception where people twist words, facts and figures, why don't we ask questions or check sources? Part of the reason is that we don't want to admit that we can be gullible and manipulated. Also it means confronting our own exaggerations and lies that we've told. Denial is a lot less work!

Liars count on our trust as much as we want to believe them and lies divert our search for truth and destroy our integrity. When confronted with their lies, people may use these defense mechanisms:

  • Denial "I did not!"

  • Blame "He made me do it"

  • Anger intimidate, distract from the original issue

  • Justification "I can do what I want. Everyone's doing it. Give me a break - I made an error in judgment this one time"

  • Hide Behind An Honorable Intention "I had to do it save the company"

  • Challenge To Your Authority Or Judgment "What a goody two shoes you are! You're too sensitive. I thought I could trust you to keep this confidential. How could you even think this after all we've been through?"

Rebuilding trust is hard work. The liar must take responsibility and realize that trust must be earned. You must do what many liars cannot:

  • acknowledge the good and the bad within yourself,

  • reconnect with your own integrity

  • learn from past encounters with deception.

There are very practical reasons for leading a life of integrity. You can enjoy success through your reputation for honesty. You will have less stress and concern and feel better about yourself. Since you do not fear being discovered, you will have more peace of mind and confidence.

Good relationships are based on mutual trust. When trust is gone, relationships are hollow, shallow and they lack joy. Good leadership training shows the importance and value in having pride in what you do and who you are. In our age of information, deceptions and lies will be discovered sooner or later. Dishonesty is inefficient. The right thing to do is seldom the easy thing to do. But it's worth it.

Dr. Darlene Treese, LPC, LMHC has been in private practice in hypnosis, coaching, counseling and consulting for over 30 years. She has been internationally acknowledged for her positive action and solution-based therapies with individuals, groups and corporations. "A person for the people," Dr. Dar is always available to help you get a grip on life, health and happiness to take that next step forward in creating the life you truly desire. She offers sessions at her Orlando office, as well as telephone and email consultations. The services she offers include premarital and relationship counseling, marriage enrichment, personality tests and couple compatibility inventories, communication and mediation skills, dealing with the hard problems of abuse, addictions and affairs, CSI (couple sensitive individual therapy), Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink of divorce, and surviving divorce and single parenting.

Call her today at 407-278-1598 or email her at AskDrTreese@gmail.com or visit her website - www.AskDrTreese.com. Life is too short to be unhappy and the answers and clarity you seek may be only a phone call away.

© Dr. Darlene Treese. All Rights Reserved.