Giving Others A Peace Of Your Mind

"There is a field beyond right and wrong. Come, and I will meet you there." -Rumi

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How easy it is to be with people who agree with you. But what happens in those situations where you are not likely to get your own way? It becomes very natural to enter a "you vs. me" or an "us vs. them" mentality. THEY are wrong; WE are right. A battle of egotistical superiority ensues. It's easy to see how war has become a habit in any relationship - and in the world. We, like addicts, promise to quit someday but fall again and again into our conditioned responses with aggression and stubbornness.

How is it that some act with compassion instead of violence? Compassion is the natural response when we focus on empathetic listening and honestly expressing observations, feelings, needs and requests. Etty Hillesum remained compassionate even while subjected to the inhumane conditions of a German concentration camp. As she wrote in her journal at the time, "I am not easily frightened. Not because I am brave but because I know that I am dealing with human beings, and that I must try as hard as I can to understand everything that anyone ever does."

Mothers of dead Civil War soldiers originally called for Mother's Day, as a time to dedicate ourselves to the establishment of peace and the eradication of war. Julia Ward Howe (author of the lyrics to the Battle Hymn of the Republic) said it this way: "Arise all women who have hearts, say firmly: Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. In the name of womanhood and of humanity; take counsel with each other as the means whereby the great human family can live in peace..." ~ Julia Ward Howe* (1870)

Peace can only begin with you. When a critical mass of individuals adopt a nonviolent communication that extends understanding, empathy and a willingness to solve problems we will see a shift in consciousness in the world. When your moment of conflict arises today - as certainly it will - consider this response: All human beings have the same needs. Today I will be as attentive to another's needs as I am my own. I will make requests rather than demands and state the request in what I desire rather than what I don't. Instead of saying NO to a request I will express what prevents me from saying YES. If I am upset, I will think about what need of mine is not being met and how I can meet that need rather than focus my attention on what is wrong with someone else. I will praise someone by telling them what need of mine was met by what they did. Today I will listen rather than rehearse what I will say next. Today I will give them a PEACE of my mind!

Dr. Darlene Treese has been in private practice in hypnosis and counseling since 1983. She has been internationally acknowledged for her positive action and solution-based therapies with individuals, groups and corporations. "A person for the people," Dr. Dar is always available to help you get a grip on life, health and happiness.

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