Distorted Thinking That We All Do When We're Not At Our Best - "Changing Other People"

The false idea behind this kind of distorted thinking is that you assume that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure them enough. Your attention and actions are focused on others because your hope for happiness comes from getting them to meet your needs. Some things you may do to pressure them include blaming, demanding, withholding, and trading. The usual result is that the other person feels attacked or pushed around and doesn't change at all in the long run (although they may make some behavior modifications for a short time to get you off their back.)

The faulty belief system in this thinking style is that your happiness depends on the actions of others. But the truth is that your happiness depends on you and the thousands of large and small decisions you make during your life. The only person you can really control or have much hope of changing is yourself - and that is all you need to be happy.

What area of your life or what current or past situation may be causing you angst due to trying to change others? What is another way to look at it?

Next Week: Distorted Thinking - Stereotyping