Dr. Darlene Treese
PO Box 547
Windermere, FL 34786
(480) 296-3358

New Office Address
2295 S. Hiawassee Rd,
Suite 309
Orlando, FL 32835
Phone: 407-278-1598 Fax:407-203-0803

Dr. Dar's Weekly News You Can Use:

Distorted Thinking That We All Do When We're Not At Our Best - "Personalization"

This is the tendency to continually relate everything to you. If your husband comes home tired, it means he's tired of you. If the kids do not do well in school, it's because you are a bad parent. If your spouse complains about high prices it means that you are not a good provider or a poor money manager.

Another major component is to always compare yourself to others: "She is so much more outgoing than I am" or "He has much more talent than I do" or "I'm the slowest person on the team" or "I'm better looking" or "He's dumb and I'm smart." The list for comparisons is endless and depending on your mood you may be at either end of the spectrum. The underlying assumption is that your worth is in question so you are forced to test your value as a person by constantly measuring yourself against others. If you come out better, you have a sense of relief - "At least I'm better than him!" If you come up short, your self esteem suffers greatly.

The basic error in personalization is that you look at every interaction as a clue to your worth and value rather than knowing your self worth and value intrinsically regardless of how you act/react at any point in time.

What area of your life or what current or past situation may be causing you angst due to unfounded personalization? What is another way to look at it?

Next Week: Distorted Thinking - The Illusion of Control